Perfect Circle
by Andie T
Summary: The summary in the first chapter explains who the characters are. Shhhhh................don't tell on me! It's a new idea, a little weird, but give it a chance.
1. Prologue

Perfect Circle  
  
Prologue  
  
Tell me this isn't it. Tell me this isn't the end. It hasnt even stared, it can't already be over.  
  
"Don't leave. Do not leave me here like this. You can't do this to me, not after all we've gotten through....", I tell him, my eyes stone cold, and angry, barely being a damn for the tears lurking below the surface. He looks at me again before reaching the door. He, unlike myself, gave in to his sorrow the moment he looked at me. He came over. It was, raining. He came up to my room soaked. Oblivious to his blood-shot eyes, I told him immediatly how sexy he looked wet. He didn't laugh, and it went downhill after that. Seeing him cry makes my heart hurt. It makes my actual heart hurt. He looks at me deep with those dark brown pools of sorrow, and I know, he meant nothing he said. He's doing this to keep from hurting me, and although I know it, I can't stand it. I'd rather him hurt me a million times over, than not be with me at all. He told me he couldn't be with me anymore. He never once offered a reason why, he only told me that it's over. He said he still loved me, but that it was over. It's over.  
  
"You coward!.......the second things get intense, you bail!?.... don't blame it on your career!..........don't blame it on my brother!......just leave!...........go, you gutless bastard!", I scream at him, putting emphasis on my words by throwing thins in his direction. For effect, he doesn't move to dodge them, he only shuts his eyes hard, and keeps his brow furrowed. His brow has been furrowed throughout his entire visit. Miracuously, not one shard of glass touches him. It's almost beautiful, how everything is being smashed around him, but nothing is hurting him. Nothing, but me. With a final tearful glance he leaves me to my destruction. The second the door clicks close, I break down. It is over. It started the same way, and now it all comes full circle. The rain contiues to fall like the saltine droplets from my eyes.  
  
I guess, I could offer up myself as a human sacrafice, and tell you what the hell I'm talking about. Tell you how it started. Tell you why it can't be over. Tell you why it is over. Maybe I will.... Just not right now. Not right now. 


	2. First Things First

Rating: R....maybe NC-17 later  
  
Author: Andie T.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from the motion picture The Fast and the Furious, nor do I own, or am associated with Vin Diesel in any way. There, my ass is covered......  
  
Summary: I won't give a summary for every installment but I will explain a little for those who I may have lost. Ok, brace yourself ladies, this is a new kind of fic. It's not really AU, but it kinda is. This fic involves VIn......yes Vin Diesel, and.....Letty from TFATF.....I know, I know, I know it's weird, but I really REALLY like her character. I really like writing for her character too! And as for Vin, well.....enough said. Ok, I know this is weird but, I've had the storyline in my head for a long time and I was just trying to figure out an interesting way to do it. Which leads to.....  
  
Feedback: You gotta let me know how this idea is sitting with you girls. I hate when people say" if you don't review, i dont write", but (he he he) If I get no feedback, there's no reason for me to post anymore.....I'll keep writing cause I love it and I have to write to live, but I just won't post, so in short......HELL YEAH!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Perfect Circle  
  
(1) First things first.  
  
  
  
I'm so sick of this shit. Every damn night he does this shit. Is it too goddamn much to ask to be able to come home at night to a quiet house? My brother is having another one of his"let's act like no one else lives here, and make all the noise we can" parties. The house is lit up like a hooker on sunset, and the thumping pulse of six speakers that surround the living room are radiating from inside.  
  
"Fucking shit...", I mutter, stepping out of my car. At least they do have the courtisy to leave me a spot in the garage. I push the already open door and step into paradise. Immediately I'm attacked by drunken idiots looking for an easy lay. I brush past them with no emotion on my face. I'm looking for my brother. Scanning the room for his figure, I find him in the kitchen sitting around a table with his psuedo friends.  
  
"Ticia, you're home", he greets me behind a puff of cigar smoke rising in front of his face. He sits along with his crew and awaits my reaction. I calmly lean down, place both hands on the underside of the table and flip it over, keeping my eyes on him. Cards, poker chips, and beer bottles fly through the air before hitting the linoleum, and he still sits in his chair, locking with my gaze.  
  
"Good night", I tell him calmly, before exiting the room, and walking into the disco inferno taking place in the living room. I angrily brush past everyone, leaving a trail of pissed off alcoholics behind me. I reach the stairs and take them two at a time. I can hear the faint noises of people having one night stands in the guest rooms. I open my door and hit the 'power' button on my stereo to drown out the pulsating beats of that techno shit. I steady myself as I kick off each boot into my open closet. I hesitate a moment before grabbing at the hem of my t-shirt and pulling it over my head. Now this is the moment we met. At the exact moment I get my shirt to the point where it's covering my eyes, I hear the little brass knob click.  
  
"Just my luck", I mumble to myself, stopping right there not even bothering to move my shirt back down. Whoever is walking in has already saw anything I would want to hide.  
  
  
  
"Oh, shit....I'm....in the wrong room", he states in horror. I just stand there in the assumed position, with my shirt covering my head, my bra exposed.  
  
"Well, what room are ya looking for?", I mumble through the cloth. I can almost feel the confused expression on his face, and I can hear his uncertainty in the shifting of his weight to his left side. I can't see him but he's gotta be at least 6'1....6'2.  
  
"Ummm.....the ummm.....I'm sorry for barging in on you!", he says the latter suddenly. I hesitantly drop my arms to lower my shirt. Thank God, I didnt look right up at him right away.  
  
  
  
"Look it's fine, dude......the bathroom is down one.......", my jaw drops the second I look up.  
  
"Letticia, is that you?", he asks walking closer. I stand stunned and amazed. I gaze at him in utter disbelief, and I even think I may be drooling.  
  
"Mark?", I ask softly.  
  
"Letty", he walks even closer to me.  
  
"I haven't seen you in so long", he smiles. I smile back sweetly, before landing a punch right square on his beautiful jaw. He stumbles back holding the afflicted area, looking at me like I sprouted another head.  
  
"Letty, what the hell?"  
  
"Fuck you Mark", I tell him sweetly before running out the door into the bathroom. I lock myself inside and try to comprehend what the fuck I just done. 


	3. Grudges

3. (Grudges)  
  
  
  
Ok, breath, just breath. It's been at least 5 years since I've seen Mark. I was 16 when he moved away. My brother and I lived in N.Y.C., with my parents. He and his family lived next door. One day, he just left. I walked over to his house and his mom told me he was gone. I natrually asked where did he go, and when would he be back, and all she said was 'I don't know'. How the hell could you let your son leave without knowing where he is? I lean back against the bathroom door and let my body slide down onto the tile floor. He just left. Of course my brother knew where he was.....of course. He moved to California. That place where it never got cold, beaches everywhere, thousands of miles away from me. I was 16 years old, with history's biggest crush. I cried for a week, and no one knew what the hell over. I hated school, I hated the city. All I wanted is to be thousands of miles away in a state I knew nothing about. He done this to me. About a year later, our parents died, and that didn't make things better. My brother and I where utterly alone. He was 18, so he kept custody of me. Friends of our parents helped us out until they could find family for us to stay with. Our great Aunt Corneilia found out about our parents and sent for us. She lived in California, in L.A. A small slice of joy sprang through the clouds. Long-story-short, we moved to L.A., Aunt Corney croaked, leaving us her ridiculously large house and her money, as well as the money from our parents. Well that brings us to here, but some still may wonder about the punch. He left, he just left. Granted, we weren't dating, and he didn't have a clue that I loved him, but he couldv'e said 'goodbye', and all those time he called to talk to Ricky, he couldn't take a second to say hello to me? I'm over him, but just seeing him made the anger come back. My parents died and he just called to tell Ricky how sorry he was and offer any help. They were like his parents too. Ok, well I can understand not having enough money to fly up, but.....I'm just mad. I liked him a lot, and he didn't like me back. There it is. There's the truth I wouldn't dare say out loud. As a 16 year old girl, it hurt me more than anything. The way he and Ricky would bring girls over, way more 'developed' girls, then leave with them, and all I could do is run to my room and cry over the phone with my best friend. It just hurt, and now, 5 years later here he is. Christ, he looks like greek god. I place my hand on the doorknob, ready to face him again, and the knob begins to turn, but not by my fingers. The door whips open with a quickness that cathes me square in the forhead. I fly back and land flat on my ass. My hand goes to the already swelling knot on my head as I look up to see Mark, dried blood in the corner of his lips, looking down at me shocked. I rub my head with one hand as he grabs the other to help me to my feet.  
  
"I guess we're even", I mumble trying to rub the aching pain away. Shit, this hurts. I pull my hand down to see my middle fingertip coated in my bright red DNA. Great, it's more than a flesh wound.  
  
"That wasn't intentional", he tells me honestly, stepping closer to inspect my head. I flinch and suck my teeth the second his hands move from his sides.  
  
"I didn't even touch you!", he tells me a smile playing across his lips. I always flinch. He could be a mile away, but if his hands go anywhere near the hurt area, I flinch, but only with him. He has bandaged many a scraped knee. Most of the time against his will, because Ricky wouldn't. He can't stand the sight of blood, but it's never bothered Mark. He and Rick taught me how to ride a bike. That was one of the worst days of my life. I fell so many times, I began to think that the asphault was where I truely belonged.  
  
"Just let me look at it", he looks at the wound quizzitively, walking closer to me. I step back matching his forward motion.  
  
"Letty! Stop, just let me look at it! I'm not gonna touch it", he tells me seriously, giving me that 'caring but annoyed' look. I stop as I hit a wall behind me. He towers over me, like always, and looks at my head like he's trying to solve a calculus equation. He sighs.  
  
"Ok, now, I have to touch it", he says quickly, knowing a protest is comming. I slip around him.  
  
"No, I'm okay", I tell him wincing at the blunt, painful headache now forming.  
  
"Only for a second to put some ointment on it", he pleads with me.  
  
"No really, I'm okay..." I tell him leaning over in pain. I think I slipped around him a little too quickly. The fast motion set off the pain. He comes over and put an arm around my waist. He leads me over and sits me down on the toilet. Being in too much pain now to fight him. I sit and lean over with my arms folded in front of me.  
  
"Ahhhh, I feel like my eyeballs are gonna fall out!", I yell out loud, as he searches through the medicine cabinet for materials. He grabs a cup from the beside the sink and fills it with tap water.  
  
"Take this", he tells me, handing me the small, round, brown tablets, and the glass of room temperature water. I swallow the two small lumps, and clench my eyes close. He gets on his knees in front of me, and I surrender to his healing touch. I close my eyes to sheild them from the now blinding white lights of the bathroom. He places the ointment on my head and instead of pain surging through me, my entire body relaxes. He places the bandage on and throws away the wrapper.  
  
"I think you'll feel better in the morning", he stands over me looking me over for any other damage. I can tell he feels guilty for hurting me, even though he shouldn't. I hurt him first, and he still feels guilty.......what a guy. There's a moment of silence between us, and I finally gather enough of myself to speak again. With my eyes still closed, I find my way to my feet and stumble, but he catches me again, supporting me with his amazingly muscular arm.  
  
"I don't remember you being this...big" I mumble, half to myself. I'm feeling a little woozy now.  
  
"What?", he ask looking down at me. He turns me around to face him, with his hands still on my waist.  
  
"Umm, nothing", I snap out of my inner thoughts. I look up at him opening my eyes, but blinking rapidly.  
  
"I'm sorry for....you kow.....hitting you......I was just......I dunno....pissed...about you leaving and not talking to me since...", I ramble blinking vigrously.  
  
"Letty...It's okay", he stops me. Between blinks I can see him looking at me, relieved that I'm not pissed at him.  
  
"Let's get you somewhere.....darker", he half smiles, walking me out of the 6000 watt bathroom into my dimmly lit room. He sits me down on the bed. I sit up as he walks over to close the door.  
  
"We really need to talk.........I'm glad I ran into you.....", his voice trails off in my head. All I remember is hearing the door close and his words, before I was off into a deep sleep....more like unconsciousness. I guess the hit was a little harder than I thought. 


	4. The First Day of the Rest of My Life

(3) The first day of the rest of my life.  
  
  
  
My eyes pop open, and out of reflex, I jump up to a sitting position, causing many different colored circles of light to cloud my vision. That was a bad idea. My hand immediately goes to my head as I lay back down. I open my eyes to see a bulky figure sitting in a chair across from my bed stir.  
  
"Wha'd you do da me?", I ask it.  
  
"Huh?......You're awake.......For a minute there I thought we lost you", it smiles groggily. Mark stands from the chair and takes a seat on my bed beside me. He places a warm hand to my forehead.  
  
"What the hell kinda pills did you give me, man?", I ask him, assuming they were the reason for my blackout.  
  
"Advil", he chuckles. I guess the blow knocked me out.  
  
"Why are you still here?........Seeing as how you always leave......your the last person I expected to wake up to", I groan. His face falls in hurt.  
  
"I wanted to make sure you were okay", he says softly looking away from me.  
  
"Well, I'm fine now..........you can go, cause I know you're itching to get out of our lives again", I tell him coldly, getting up slowly from my bed. He's silent.  
  
"Actually, I do have to go......I got some shit.....I gotta take care of today, but I want to talk to you..........later.....maybe for lunch?", he asks helping me to my feet.  
  
"I'm busy", I shoot him down, lying. God knows I have absolutly no plans for lunch.  
  
"Dinner then.....I'll pick you up at eight...", he starts, backing towards my door, as I stand on shaky legs in the middle of the room.  
  
"I can't.....", I begin to protest.  
  
"Don't worry about dressing nice......I'll cook......at my place.......see you then", he spits, jetting out the door, before I can refuse. Great, now he's actually gonna have a chance to explain things. I don't want an explanation. I don't know what I want. You don't just walk into someone's life after five years, knock them out, and make dinner plans the next day. One thing about him hasn't changed, his tenacity, and determination to have what he wants. I finally regain some sense of stability and walk downstairs to a small woman cursing vividly in spainish.  
  
"Buenos dias, Rosa", I stumble past our housekeeper. She curses even louder.  
  
"Aye! When your brother gets home......", she yells to the floor, then shakes her broom in the air. I walk into the kitchen. Great, now I actually have to have dinner with him.....and in his house to pour salt on the wound. Why am I so wound up about this? He's just trying to be nice. There may actually be a good reason to his leaving. I grab a carton of orange juice, take a sip, and spit it back out. Vodka.....in the goddamn carton. I sigh heavily and head back up to my room.  
  
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I ate and sat in the entertainment room to watch a movie, one of HIS movies, Boiler Room, but I fell asleep right after Giovanni Ribisi got busted. The only reason I woke up was because Ricky came home to an irrate housekeeper. My spanish is horrible, but I think she probably threatened to kill him at one point. Then my girl, Halie came over to talk, which is ironic, cause she always does talking. I braided her hair, we swam a little, then she left, which brings us up to speed. I am now standing in my closet fighting with the little voices in my head. I refuse to get all done up for him, but at the same time, I don't want to look like a slob. Finally, I just pull down a pair of dark blue Levi's, a white thermal, and a Hurley t-shirt. I take a quick shower and get dressed, letting my hair just air dry into a wavy mess. I look over at my alarm clock.....7:45. Okay, I guess he wants to be punctual. I lay back on my bed and look up at the ceiling. I begin to feel sleepy for the millionth time today. What the hell? I sit up on the bed. If I fall asleep, I won't wake up in fifteen minutes. I walk downstairs and peek out the windows for a car of some kind.  
  
"You expecting somebody?", Ricky asks from the couch.  
  
"Maybe", I ignore him.  
  
"Who?", he asks getting up.  
  
"Mark and I are gonna have dinner......at his place", I tell him waiting for an angry refusal. He's so fucking protective that it's ridiculous.  
  
"Mark?......Mark who?", he cocks his head to the side, confused.  
  
"Mark Vincent"  
  
"Mark?.......Vin?.....Vinny?", he asks. I nod.  
  
"Did you talk to him last night?.........I didn't think you knew he was in town....well lived here", he asks again.  
  
"I knew he lived in L.A., wonder what brought him to us now........we've been here for two years", I mumble, interrupted by a knock on the door. Ricky and I look at each other expectantly. Yeah, it could be him, but random people are always showing up at our door to see my brother, so I walk over and nudge him to answer the door. He opens it and there Mark stands. My breath hitches in my throat as he hugs my brother. He always been handsom, but it's so different now. He's wearing black slacks, and a metalic dress shirt that's unbuttoned at the top and untucked. He steps back from my brother and walks over to me.  
  
"You're early", I tell him smirking. He hugs me. God, his cologn smells heavenly.  
  
"I couldn't wait to see you again", he jokes. I smile back. I look down at my sneakers.  
  
"I thought we wern't gonna dress up"  
  
"I had a meeting....with some.....I didn't have time to change", he apologizes.  
  
"It's okay"  
  
"But you look nice", he adds, trying to make me feel better.  
  
"You're a great liar........let's go", I walk past him and hug Ricky.  
  
"Be careful" , He tells us on our way out the door. I turn back and see him whisper something to Mark. He nods and closes the door behind him.  
  
"What was that about?", I ask him.  
  
"Nothing", he shakes his head. I stare at him hard and he stops to open the door for me. No one has ever opened a car door for me before. I continue to stare at him.  
  
"What?", he asks stopping in his path to the other side, and walking back to me. I stand there in front of him, speachless. Like, I could actually admit the the reason I look like a deer in headlights is because no one has ever taken the time to open a car door for me. He's a better guy than I give him credit for. Suddenly I feel guilty for thinking so badly of him, just because of a crush I had a million years ago. That simple act shows me that he can't be as bad as I want him to be. I only want to hate him to justify may pain, but there's no reason to. How could I hate someone who opened a car door for me? I'm thinking too much, and he's still waiting on a response, so I just spit out the first thing that comes to mind.  
  
"Nothing", I begin to get in the car. He just smiles and shakes his head while walking back to the driver side. I sit in the black Tahoe, setteling into the gray leather seats. His car even smells great. The dinging alarm that always lets you know that you door is open, peirces through me, joilting me back to now. He gets in and I just look straight ahead out of nervousness. Now that I've actually decided to relax, and have a good time, I can't. He sits back and puts the keys in.  
  
"You okay?", he giggles.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine", I whip my head around. Chill out girl, it's just Mark. I wonder if he still lets people call him that. He cranks the car, and we pull out of the car court.  
  
"Can I still call you Mark?.............or should I call you...Vin?", I ask him timidly.  
  
"Is that what was bothering you?......Peaches, you can call me anything you want", he smiles. I almost forgot how much I loved to hear him call me that. His pet name for me, that I always acted like I hated, but secretly loved.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry.......your a big girl now.....I mean....Letticia", he laughs. I laugh with him.  
  
"It might be weird, calling you that..........I know all your....friends used to call you that, but you were always Mark to me...", I get a little more serious. I sense that he feels a little guilty for being.....kinda mean to me. He was never really mean, he was actually the nicest out of all Ricky's asshole friends, but he was a boy, he got annoyed by me easily. I never blamed him for it, it was just.........the way things were.  
  
".........But I guess I could call you Vin......seeing as how you're all famous now.....", I smile, settling back into my seat. I feel his tension disappear, and I'm relieved. I wonder what he could possibly want to talk about. I don't know, but whatever he has to say, I'm more than willing to hear. 


	5. Secret Lives

*NOTE TO READERS: As badly as I want to use Mark, people are getting confused, and truth be told, so am I, so for all parteies involved, Letty will just be calling him Vin, and for one person who asked, yes Letty is with Vin Diesel....VIN DIESEL....just had to clear that up, and while I'm at it......is anyone actually enjoying this fic? My skills are slowly diminishing and I'm thinking about throwing in the towel for a while. Everytime I sit down to write, it starts off okay, but by the middle of the chapter I'm frustrated...... I'm gonna talk to my English Professor......and start writing my fics like I write everything else......taking my time and jotting down ideas, character profiles, drfts and revisions....I have to make my work better, for me, and for readers. Anyways.... Love you guys! Oh, and I AM taking complete artistic liscence with some of this, cause unlike movie fics........i know nothing about Vin's personal life, plus it's really fun to just make up stuff!  
  
~Andie  
  
(4.) Secret Lives  
  
We arrive at his "house" if you want to call it that. It could be considered as a national monument judging by it's size. I stare at it blankly and tilt my head to the side like it's an obscure work of art, because...it is. I straighten my posture and turn to him, grimacing.  
  
"This WOULD be your house", I say shaking my head. He frowns and stops from opening the door and looks at me expecting an explanation.  
  
"It's fucking Buckingham Palace, Vin." His tongue snakes out to the corner of his mouth and lingers as he breaks into a grin. He joins me and stoops down in his seat to take a look at it. In the deafening silence of the car, he snorts in slight laughter. I smile back at him.  
  
"You get a little money and just go crazy, huh?", I ask him playfully. He sits back up and sighs, getting out of the car.  
  
"You should see my mom's place", he raises an eyebrow closing the door. I sit dazed looking at...it. I mean we have a larger than average house, but we didn't earn it, or buy it, we just got it. Our place is nothing compared to this. Suddenly the door opens, and he non-chalantly offers me a hand.  
  
"You don't have to do that", I tell him accepting the help. I don't want him to think I was purposely sitting there waiting, being a lazy bitch, but at the same time I didnt want him to know I was oogling at his home. There are no gates or ten foot fences, like one might expect, but it is deep into the woods, on a hill. I thought he was taking me to Nevada on a back road or something. I step out nervous, and he walks ahead of me shoving his keys into his pocket. I guess he senses that I'm hesitantly walking much further behind him, because he turns around, gives me a reassuring smile, and waits for me to catch up. I increase my stride until I'm beside him and we enter the house. The moment I step across the threshhold, I'm calmed. I don't know if it's the way the lights create this warm yellowish-orange glow across all the white and cream colored furniture, or if it's the way everything smells like cinnamon, but in that instant I finally relaxed. He stands behind me and closes the door, then I feel his large hand on the small of my back leading me into the den. To my suprise, we're not alone.  
  
"It's about time you brought your sorry ass home......Mr. too good to be.." , a large black man yells getting up from a couch. He stops when he sees me.  
  
"What's up?", he raises two fingers at me. I nod and smile. He looks back at Vin who is now walking into the kitchen area. See, the den and kitchen aren't separated. There's a bar that turns into the counter. He steps down and walks back towards us with a phone in hand.  
  
"Okay.........I know I said that I would cook, but I havent been home since 9 AM, so if it's okay with you, I was thinking we could just order in...", he raises his brows, begging for my approval.  
  
"That's cool", I nod and smile. He smiles big, and starts dailing. I just stand there looking at him, along with the rest of the house's occupants, until he finally gets the point.  
  
"Oh!......Sorry...how rude of me......Let, this is Roy", he says pointing to the aforementioned black man. I shake his hand, and all the others as he says their names and points to them.  
  
"Jay, Tommy, Donny, Chris and Jake, this is Ricky's kid sister Letty", he tells them, and they all nod, as if suddenly realizing something. They obviously all know Ricky, how, I couldn't tell you. I swear he has a secret life, that everyone knows about but me. I guess whoever is on the other end of the phone picks up cause Vin turns away and starts ordering.  
  
"So you're Letty Rodriguez.....man, Ricky and Vin talk about you all the time....", Roy starts, before Vin yells to everyone that the "grub" will be here shortly. He walks over to me as all the guys return to glue themselves to a ball game on t.v. He stands close to me and smiles.  
  
"Is this okay,cause I can ask them to leave...", he asks me softly.  
  
"It's cool, it's your house, they're cool", I shake my head.  
  
"I just want you to be comfortable"  
  
"I am", I grin. He nods understanding.  
  
"Let's go outside", he looks at me eyes narrowed, his voice taking a serious low tone. I nod and follow him to the beautiful french door to the patio. He opens them for me and we walk out onto the large wooden deck. I sit in a lounge chair as he takes a seat next to me, pulling his chair closer. We sit in silence, and right before I decide to ease the tension by saying something, he beats me to it.  
  
"I'm sorry Letty. I know your mad about me leaving and everything, and you have every right to be, It's just that...when I found out about you and Ricky comming here, I was living a different life, and I wasn't sure how you guys would react to it.....I was scared, but at the same time, I missed being around people I knew....so I just called him one day....and he told me about how much you'd.....grown", he smiles looking me up and down. I blush slightly, hoping he didn't notice. He lays back and sighs, putting a hand behind his head, looking into the heavens.  
  
"He told me how upset you were when I left, because I didn't say goodbye...", he pauses. Note to self: kick Ricky's face in when you get home.  
  
"It's okay", I whisper. Looking up past the branches of an emormous oak tree lumming above us. A breeze floats through and rustles it's leaves, when I feel his knuckles brush my cheek. I swallow and blink before turning onto my side.  
  
"I'm sorry", he tells me sweetly. I smile bitting my lip. He leans into me until our heads touch.  
  
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Peaches", he whispers, his breath warm. His hands rest on my sides, and mine go around his neck for a hug.  
  
"I was so scared, that's why I waited so long to see you......I was scared you'd hate me", he whispers into my hair, pulling me closer.  
  
"I never meant to hurt you", he adds. Okay, so maybe I haven't told you the whole story. There's more to our...history, than I let on. Yeah, we never dated, but, from the moment I discovered my hormones, I knew that I liked......maybe even loved him. The thing is, so did he. One time, a LONG time ago, in a moment of insanity and PMS I told him that I was in love with him. I couldn't have been any older than 12, and I confessed my undying love for him in my room. I was crying and yelling at him, because I was tired of seeing all his girlfriends prance in front of me. I hated seeing all these chicks treating him like shit, cause he's loyal. They walked all over him cause they could. It killed me everytime he would sneak up to my room depressed. I told him all this and he just looked at me with sad eyes. I knew then, that this union was never meant to be. That night, he watched my heart break. I say 'sneak' because.....well, he and I would talk...a lot....but no one else knew. It's like this little secret thing we had that no one else saw. He would come over when Ricky was gone, and sit with me in my room talking. He was like a brother, but only because he was always there for me, and protective. It still hurts just thinking about it. He never wanted me the way I did him, and we both knew that. I guess he didn't want his buddies to know that he was having 3-hour long conversations with a 12 year old, but i didn't mind, cause neither did I. For those few hours, he was mine. He was truely my best friend. I could tell him anything, no matter how trivial, or stupid, he always listened, and he never betrayed me. It was amazing. He stood up for me when Ricky and the guys would pick on me, and nobody had the balls to say any different. They teased him about liking me, but he just remained silent, till they eventually got the point. As I got older, he would give me advice about life, guys, school, whatever. It was great, if I couldn't have his heart, I would settle for his mind. Everything was great...until he left. I crumbled when I found out. Then........ma and pop. I can feel the warm liquid pooling in my bottom eye lid, before spilling out onto his shoulder.  
  
"I just wish you would've been there when they died...........it would have been so much easier to bear...", I break down sobbing. He holds me tighter.  
  
"I'm so sorry", he whispers, hurt and guilt heavy in his voice. It's not his fault, I realize that. I know it's not. I sniff, trying to compose my self as I pull back from him.  
  
"You're here now, that's all that matters", I manage a smile. He smiles and kisses me softly on the lips, suprisingly.  
  
"You forgive me?"  
  
"Yes.....I forgive you", I tell him. Of course I forgive him. 


End file.
